I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
