I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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