she smelled like a LAN party
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
