It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
