my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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