goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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