barbara walters just said penis...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
