So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
