all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
