I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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