First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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