New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
