doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
