return my video game
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
