That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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