i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
