Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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