i permit you to call me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
