I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
