god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
