So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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