if i died would you start the facebook group?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
