IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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