dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
