Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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