Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
