I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
