so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I pour the whiskey from now on
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
