So drunk, too bad you don't want this
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
