I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
