Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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