Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
