i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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