Don't make out with my wife yet
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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