But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
