i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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