ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
did you just send me my own nude
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
