Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
