i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
