My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
