And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
