I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We're too hungover to prance.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
