I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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