There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
