I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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