If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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