Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
