I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
