Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
