VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
