it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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