Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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